Barber with a lisp, “phike or phart”!

A lisp, a problem one can’t help! But one can definitely make note of the problem and avoid certain words.

The problem with the person in question is, he pronounces “p” as “ph”. There is nothing wrong having this problem, if one cannot get it corrected, at least use the right words so that this does not cause embarrassment.

So on this eventful day…

I went to the saloon and asked for a haircut. One of the “hair stylists” came and guided me to The Chair, the one chair that every stylist owns, his own, I’m sure some even have named theirs. He asked me to sit and started examining my hair and asked me “how do you want the haircut”. As for as I know there are only three options to that question – Short | Medium | Trim the tips. Since no one is usually sure about how short is too short or how medium is too medium, people usually end up picking “Short-Medium” (which is also not defined).

barber with a lisp, humor

“Short-Medium” I ask for as if I know what that is, and he nods, as if he knows what that is! So he begins and this is the part where it gets weird. Moistening my hair with a lot of water and holding it, he asks, wanting to know which I way I part my hair, “which way do you part”, the only problem was he has a lisp and he said “Which way do you phart?!”. OUCH. I said “This way” pointing to the right side of my head. He doesn’t stop there, he could have, he should have. He continued wanting to know if I want spike-style “Sir, do you want ‘phike’ or ‘phart'”? I had come to the point that I didn’t mind getting my head tonsured but please make the man stop.

He began cutting and it was not till the end he said anything embarrassing. By the end he said “Sir, I have not cut a lot from the front portion, I have left it so that you can ‘phike’ or ‘phart’ as per your wish!”

“Thank you very much” I said, paid the bill, came out of the door and burst out laughing!


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