The tourist wedding!

I had an experience of a “tourist wedding” today. Oh, I’m sorry, most(none) of you know the meaning of that. Before saying anything more, I’d like to acknowledge that the wedding was arranged in a very good manner, we (me and my friend) were in a hurry and so had to experience the “tourist wedding”.

Technically it was a reception, but “tourist wedding” sounds better than the tourist reception, so I’m gonna stick with tourist wedding.

Have you ever been a tourist, ever? Of course you have! else stop reading right now because you will not be able to relate anything in this post hereon.

I know that the above statement will not discourage the non-tourist from this, so I’m gonna put an “if” clause everywhere.

“Can we please get on with it” you say. Yes, we can. (ok! That sounded like an Obama speech)

If you have been a tourist, you would have certainly gone on those one day tours in various cities. And if you have been in the one day tours, you don’t need explanation on how those are. They fill the tourist bus to the brim and their target is to show all the monuments in the city in one day. So they ask you to hustle. So fast, at times, they may not even let you out of the bus.

The guide says “To your left you can see the India Gate and to your right you can see the Rashtrapathi Bhavan” Before you can look at the India gate and grasp its beauty, you are out of the Rajpath ( btw that’s the road that has India Gate on one side and Rashtrapathi Bhavan on the other). At times the tour guide gives you so little time to see the monument and come back to the bus, that one might not even get time to touch the monument. You might have to sprint just to touch the monument and come back in time. That’s a tourist tour, of course that’s why they are called tourists!!

So.. The tourist wedding. I think you can relate to it now. For the dumber ones, here’s the explanation. It was my college friend’s wedding. I was in a mighty hurry. Had to leave the place in an hour as I had another appointment. We, college mates, were a group of 15 guys. We were waiting outside for some time, thinking the well wishers queue would eventually die out, we can go in, give the gift and then have dinner. It was supposed to be that simple. If ever you need an anecdote for ‘easier said than done’, this is it.

We guys waited out for half an hour and after seeing the never shortening line, decided to go and stand in the queue. We stood there for fifteen minutes and the queue was real slow. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GIVE THE GIFTS AND MOVE ON?! COME ON. So we figured, we will have dinner now and “well wish” them later – Plan B. We are professionals (Bachelors in Engineering), we always have plan B. On the way to the dinner hall, we saw the bride and the groom. Beautiful couple. So we all piled into the dinner hall. That was crowd person(S)ified. We added to the crowd and stood there for a while. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO EAT AND MOVE ON?! They took a long time and “our crowd” was making it hard for the caterers to serve. So we thought it’ll be wise to move out before getting thrown out :). Saw the food, but couldn’t eat and we moved out. The plan was to go back to the plan A. To give the gift and come for dinner. The first time, any human has gone from plan B to plan A. Ok! I agree, we are not as professional as I thought. Dam! 🙂 But we lost hope when we realized that the length of the queue was longer than before. I looked at my watch, looked at my friend, told him “We did see everything, we saw our friends, we saw the groom, we saw the bride (couldn’t wish the couple), we saw the food (couldn’t eat), we had the perfect tourist wedding“, we both laughed as we went to the parking lot. 🙂

Sam Jayanth

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